They say that becoming a mother changes you profoundly but I find motherhood hasn't changed me at all. I'm still pulling raging all-nighters and suffering the effects of it the next day. Every day, in fact. I've noticed that being the mother of a so-called "bad" sleeper has lead to a state of semi-permanent hangover. Wonderful.
Here's the 10 ways that being UP all night still resembles being OUT all night:
1. You wake up in random places with no idea what happened the night before: Like curled up in the baby gym using an unzipped growbag for a blankie.
2. You're probably in no condition to operate a vehicle.
3. You're making virtually no sense.
4. You are plagued by The Fear – mainly that the child will never, ever sleep.
5. You may be covered in vomit or other bodily fluids.
6. You find you have lost certain important items, such as pants or your MIND.
8. You are really, really sensitive.
9. You crave the warm, non-judgemental embrace of your duvet but instead are expected to function like a normal human being.
10. The urge to comfort eat is all-consuming, go ahead fill that sleep-hole with biscuits you may as well. It's the next best thing to eight hours uninterrupted sleep.
